Slayers is property of H. Kanzaka, R. Araizumi, Kadokawa, TV Tokyo, SOFTX, and all other associate companies. MST3K belongs to Best Brains Inc. Any random mention of songs, quotes, etc. are property of the money making machines that put them out. You probably shouldn’t sue me because all you’d be getting is one Rayearth manga, a Slayers Try video and some anime cards.

This story does not belong to me, it is the property of the author. I don’t intend to insult or cut down the author (even though it might seem like I am.) If any of you readers know this person and know that he/she wants it taken down, feel free to e-mail me. I apologize in advance if this offends anyone. (wouldn’t I make a great corporate lawyer?)

So basically, I don’t own squat, I’m a poor Chinese high school student, I’m sorry for offending anyone (even though you should get your ass outta here if you don’t like this kinda stuff), and I did this out of sheer boredom instead of doing a project assigned to us for the summer.

Warning: Ryo is the character from Ronin Warriors. I portray him in an out of character fashion so leave if you don’t want to see him with Grace. I’ve not seen a single episode of MST3K. So beware of inconsistencies galore. Okay, on with the MST!

LORI'S HOUSE

  Lori and Grace are seated on the couch preparing for the horrors to come. They patiently wait until they receive a call from THE ALL MIGHTY LORD OF DARKNESS (aka: Bob)

Bob: Okay minions listen up, I have a fanfic for you (as if we didn't know). Do well with this one and....

Lori: You'll have mercy upon our souls and not give us another?

Grace: Jump off a cliff to a horrible bloody death?

Bob: NO! I was going to say, "Do well with this one and I will refrain from giving you any lemons." But since you have angered THE ALL MIGHTY LORD OF DARKNESS.....

Grace and Lori: *groveling* We're sorry!

Bob: That's better, now on to the fic!

Grace and Lori hang up the phone and sulk to the microwave to heat up some popcorn. This is gonna be a loooooong night.

Lori: Well, that's one good thing about MSTing fics! We get free popcorn!

Grace gives Lori a withering look.....

After the popcorn is popped, the two girls go into the theatre and grab a good (well, relatively speaking) seat.

Hi I'm new here and this is my first fan fic ever.
I hope you like it. Well it is only the first part
but I'll post the others if anyone vant to read the
rest of the fic.

Lori: I vant to suck your blood!

Grace: Lori......

Pleas understand that I'm not the best speller in the
world. I'm from Sweden so don't blame me for not hawe
everything coreckt spelled,Ok.

Lori: Sure... I'll play nice. *insert evil laughter here*

Grace:Lori...

Lori:Are you just gonna sit there and say my name all day? help me with the fic!

Well Enjoy =^_^=

_____________________________________________________________________
Part 1

Note: Ok now I will tell you my one little story. I am a girl from
Sweden and I love the Slayers.
I do not know how this fic will end up so haw patinas. 

Lori: Haw patinas baby! Sounds like some sort of flower.....

Grace: Hee Haw?

Naive: Swedes translated into English.

Lori: WOW! The things they can do with Swedes these days....

Like I sad I am a girl from Sweden and I love slayers. I haw not seen
all the vols. Jet but I have red about them.
I haw also red tons of fics and seen short movie clips.
Anyway, at my birthday I wished for me to bee in the slayers world
(not as me of course) as Amelia. She has it all. A perfect body,
friends that like her and she's a princess. I don not haw any of
that. I am fat, I don't haw any real friends and I am certainly
not a
princess.

Grace: How many times has this happened to you? You're fat and want to be in your fave anime, so you wish to be transported to a magical land where you will become a justice-filled princess with a perfect body and the hots for a guy who's part demon, chimera, and human?

Lori:*starts counting on her fingers* 1...2...3...4...

When I got to bed after the so called "party", the
last
thing I thought of before drifting of to sleep was me as Amelia in
Zel's arms.

Lori: 5...6...7...

Grace: I think you can stop now, Lori...

Lori: But I'm not done yet...

Grace:*ties Lori's hands together* Yes you are... >)

Lori:*mumbles* yeah, like you NEVER think about Ryo..

Grace: What was that? Need I remind you that your hands are tied?

Lori: *bows respectfully* Nothing, Grace-sama!

When Amelia woke up next morning the first thing I saw was a
redheaded girl in a bed some distance from were she was.

Lori: The story has started already?

Grace: *takes out her notebook and starts marking off for grammar and transition... Hmm.. from an intro to the story...rough transition... 5pts off.

Lori: *Backs away from Grace* Geez, you sound like a driving instructor!!!

She sat up so fast that she got dizzy and had to lay down again.
- What's going on here? She said to herself.

Lori:(imitating Amelia) Oh my god! I got drunk the night before and fell into a parallel universe where surprisingly I got my wish!

Grace:(imitating Amelia) And on top of that, I get a chance to go after the guy of my dreams, live in an anime where all the guys are cute, never have PMS, never have to go to the bathroom, and never have to brush my teeth!

She got up, still a little dizzy, to wake the redheaded girl to ask
were   she was. When she past the big mirror in the room she started
to scream.

Lori: …because she was so confused about the POV the fic is taking….

Lina opened her eyes within a second.
- Amelia what's wrong? What is happening? Lina jumped out of the
bed
and began to cast a Fire ball.
Amelia did not react to her name but she stopped screaming and just
stared at her one reflection.
- Amelia what is it? Lina walked up beside Amelia and looked into the
mirror not to see anything but Amelia's and her own reflection.
She
lowered her hand and stopped the Fire ball.
"Why is this girl talking English? And way dos I look like Amelia
from the Slayers?"

Grace: *sighs and ticks off more errors*

Lori: *sweatdrops* And I thought I was a stickler for grammar....

Grace: *waving the extremely sharp pencil in Lori's face* Hey! Ms. It's-well-and-not-good! You be quiet!

Lori:^_^;

Then she realised that the girl beside her was
Lina Inverse. She just stared at Lina and then at her reflection, and
after a little wile Gourry and Zelgadis came rushing through the door.
- What happened? Are you two girls ok? Gourry asked whit his sword in
his hands and just wearing his boxers at the moment.

Lori: whit? (Walt Whitman) Oh captain, my captain....

Grace: Hehe, is Zel dressed the same as Gourry?

- I don't know? Amelia screamed and now she is just staring at
her
own reflection! Lina said to the blond swordsman.

Lori: Well, she's really exercising those punctuation marks!

Grace: I agree?

- Oh Deere god help me, I am in the Slayers and in Amelia's body
and
everyone is talking English! What am I suppose to do now? She said to
herself.

Lori: So let me get this straight: A Swedish girl, which by the way hasn't given us her name yet, wishes to be sent to the world of Slayers. But when she wakes up, she doesn't even recognize the character she loves so much. So, she starts freaking out and staring at herself, all the while wondering why everyone in Slayers speaks English when she can't??!?! Am I getting this right?

Grace: You forgot about Deere and god....

- What did you say Amelia? Zel asked whit an artshed eyebrow.

Lori: Artshed? Oh I get it! It's a place where all the tools of art are stored!

Grace:*sweatdrops at Lori's slowness* I think it's supposed to be "arched".

Lori: oooooooohhhh....

- Oh....hmm......nothing special......umm....just hawing a bad
morning that's all. She said as with a small accent as she put
her
hands behind her head and sweet dropped.

Lori: Hawing Sawing Lawing Pawing....

Grace: Sweet drops? Anyone for sweet drops?

- That's all? You scream like you are going to die, and then you
just
say that you are hawing a bad morning! Lina's heed got huge and
she
grew fangs.

Lori: I vant to suck your blood!

Grace: May god have mercy on our souls!

Amelia/Kim moved away from Lina with a terrified look on her face and
fell backwards over a chair.

Grace: That’s gotta smart…

She fell onto the floor just in front of Zel who began to blush as
Amelia/Kim had her head between his feet's.

Amelia/Kim was rubbing her heed until she opened her eyes and began
to blush as she realised that she was looking up at Zel's crotch.

Lori: Damn, she got straight to the point, huh?

Grace:*shakes her head in shame* Bad pun Lori...

Lori: Maybe my hentai cousins are rubbing off on me....

She sat up and moved away from him, as Zel took a step back. 
- I give up! I am going downstairs to order some food, it's time
to
get up anyway! Lina said as she put on her pants and boots.
- I am going with you! Gourry said and followed Lina out the door.
- You should probably put on some clothes if you are going down
stairs Gourry! Lina said and glanced at the swordsman.
- Oh...your right I thought it was a little draftee out here!

Lori: Draft Light!

Grace: And windee, and maybe a little breezee...

He said and went to his and Zel's room to get dressed.
Lina went downstairs to order her food and Gourry soon followed.

>I can't let him leave. Not when I got this body and him in the
same room.
This can get very fun actually. But one thing that I got rely lucky
with was that I ended up in the English world of Slayers and not the
Japanese one. Then I would be In deep trouble.<

Lori: Ding ding ding! point for the author! She realizes the point about the languages! Give her a point or two grace.

Grace:*sighs and takes out her erasure(haha)*

Zel was on his way trough the door when he felt two arms slip around
his waist.
- Amelia what are you doing?
- Don't go Zel! Please don't go. She said with a soft voice.
Zel turned around to face Amelia. She loosened her grip but
didn't
let go, she didn't want him to live her.

Lori: Well, who would want to LIVE her? I mean she's fat and stuff, right?

Grace: See, I'm just taking off points, you're just being sarcastic about it.

Lori: And your point is....

- Wha.... he couldn't say any thing more because Amelia was
kissing
him gently on the lips.
When he didn't try to get away she began to broke the kiss, but
when
she did that Zel put his arms around her waist and started kissing
her deeper. She did not mind being in his arms so she didn't try
to
get away.

Lori:*covers Grace's eyes* You're too young to be watching this!!! Damn, are all Swedish people this horny? Why would she try to get away?

Grace: *moves Lori's hand away* They're just kissing. And that's why we won't ever go to Sweden or to an anime with a part chimera-demon-human/horny guy as a character.

Lori: Hehe, I bet you wouldn't mind if the horny guy were Ryo...*yelps and dodges Grace's (excellently aimed) projectile: the popcorn bucket.

Grace: That's what you get. Besides, Ryo isn't like that, are you Ryo?

Ryo: Nope :)

Lori: *quietly mourns the loss of the popcorn*

After a wile they broke the kiss, but they didn't rely want to.
- I did not expect that a first kiss would be THAT good! She said a
little light-headed.

Lori:(imitating Amelia) Not after last night when we both got drunk and did unspeakable things in the tavern....

Grace: Uh... you realize you're making no sense, right Lori?

Lori: Shut up, you have your little Ryo already! Let me have my fun!

Grace: Who said he was little?

Ryo: :)

Lori: Woah... Grace I never knew you had it in you. Damn you Ryo! Stop smiling!

Ryo: :)

Lori: ARGH!!! *lunges at Ryo only to be stopped by Grace*

Grace: No one hurts my man!!!

Lori:*grumbles* Let's just get back to the fic. Never thought I'd say that...

- You never been kissed before? Zel looked at her a little confused.
Amelia/Kim began to blush and just shook her heed.
- You know that I love you Zelgadis, I been in love with you from the
first day I saw you.

Lori: Is that Amelia talking or horny Swedish girl?

Grace: *is too busy with Ryo to comment*

- How can you love some one like me? I'm a monster and I don't
know
if I ever going to find my cure. Zel said as he moved away from her.
- So you don't love me then? She fell to her knees and began to
sob.

Lori: Fragile little thing.

Grace:(imitating Amelia) And after I spent my birthday wish on you!

Ryo: :)

- I didn't say that, please Amelia don't cry. Zel sat down on
his
knees in front of her with a worried look on his face.

Lori: Ouch, must be painful to sit on your knees.....

Grace:*catches her breath and mutters* Yeah...

Lori: Okay! Either Ryo says something or I'm calling THE ALL MIGHTY LORD OF DARKNESS!! ::muttering to herself:: I shouldn't be the only one suffering through this fic…

Grace: =P

Lori: BOB!!!!!

Bob: *boots Ryo out of the theater*

- I think you are beautiful and I don't care if you find your
cure or
not, because you will always be beautiful in my eyes. You don't
haw
to be ashamed about how you look, because there are nothing to be
ashamed of. She said after a little wile of sobbing.

Zel just stared at her.
"Dose she rely think I'm beautiful? I can't believe it,
some one
thinks I'm beautiful. And that someone is the girl I love."
Zel just sat there trying to take in all that had happen and what
Amelia just had told him.

- Zel what's wrong? Say something! Amelia said wit a concerned
voice.
- No nothings wrong, I was just amazed at what you just said.
- Do you love me Zel, or am I hoping for something impossible?
- No, you are not hoping for something impossible....I..I love you
Amelia and it is not easy for me to say that.
- Why?
- Because...I didn't think that I could love anyone.

Lori: OH MY *#@^%$ CRAP! *grabs the (new) popcorn bucket and starts barfing in it* HOW SAPPY CAN YOU GET?!

Grace: *quietly mourns the loss of the popcorn while calmly calling the dentist*

Lori: (imitating Zelgadis) Oh Amelia! I can say I love you simply because you kissed me and came on to me, whereas before, I had trouble expressing my feelings because I thought that I was a monster, even though you seemed to like me before. But being the stupid man that I am, I just ignored you until now, when you're conveniently not yourself, but rather a Swedish girl.

Grace: (imitating Amelia) And Zel! Even though I'm not the real Amelia, and I just met you in real (well, relatively speaking) life just moments ago, and now, you're confessing your love to me, I love you too. Even though you ignore my feelings for you throughout the original series and through all of NEXT and TRY, I still love you! And Zel! Even though your cure has consumed your life from the time Rezo changed you into a chimera, I'm so glad that you're going to give all that up and stay with me!

A single tear rolled down Amelia's cheek, as they moved closer to
etch other

Lori: …in stone…

and met in a deep kiss.

Grace: Hey! how come she gets the guy and I had to lose my poor Ryo?

Lori:*just sits there and looks innocent*   

           End For now/ Ha det bra

Lori: Ooh, sounds kinda ominous!

Grace: *nods gravely*

Lori and Grace get up and stretch before exiting the theater.

Lori: Wow! I am so glad that's over! I don't thing I could've lasted much longer through the mushy parts.

Grace: Yeah, I know what you mean. By the way, I made appointments for us at the dentist's office for a check-up to make sure that the sap of the fic didn't give us cavities.

Lori: What would I do without you Grace?

Grace: I don't know, but I'd be with Ryo without you.

Lori: I'm hurt! And after I made a quick deposit of lover-boy at your house...

Grace:*with hearts in her eyes* really?!! Thank you Lori! For this, I'll do another fic with you!!!

Lori: Hehe, like you'd have a choice?

Grace: Yeah, well....

 E-mail me at earthianchinx@yahoo.com

I’d guess I’d be pretty hypocritical to not ask for flames. But if you feel you must, then I’ll respect your choice. But first, let me tell you the story of the Chinese Mafia...