Digimon is owned by Fox Kids and Toei Animation. MST3K belongs to
Best Brains Inc. Any random mention of songs, quotes, etc. are property of the
money making machines that put them out. You probably shouldn’t sue me because
all you’d be getting is one Rayearth manga, a Slayers Try video and some anime
cards.
This story does not belong to me, it is the property of
the author. I don’t intend to insult or cut down the author (even though it
might seem like I am.) If any of you readers know this person and know that
he/she wants it taken down, feel free to e-mail me. I apologize in advance if
this offends anyone. (wouldn’t I make a great corporate lawyer?)
So basically, I don’t own squat, I’m a poor Chinese high
school student, I’m sorry for offending anyone, and I did this out of sheer
boredom and stress from school.
Warning: I’ve not seen a
single episode of MST3K. So beware of inconsistencies galore! Okay, on with the
MST!
It was a brisk autumn
day and our brave MSTer, Lori, was engaged in a vicious battle with a certain
history test.
“Sheep? When the hell did we ever talk about sheep?!”
muttered the frustrated Lori under her
breath. “This is like a bad nightmare! If there is a Bob, he’ll come and
get me to MST!”
“Lori? What are you doing here? Don’t you have Ms. Bell
4th?” gasped a startled Grace as she turned to the person who was making all
the noise that was disrupting her essay on the historical significance of the
Magna Carta.
Lori turned towards Grace, equally as pale. Then she became angry, how dare Bob pull
another one of his stupid dream sequences on them again! She pinched herself to
wake up after rolling her eyes at the stupid test she wasn’t actually taking.
“Lori, Lori, are you feeling okay?” asked a voice.
Lori lifted her head and fuzzily tried to locate the
source of the voice.
“You must be really sick to fall asleep while writing
your essay, do you want to go to the nurse?” asked the voice, louder this time.
“Oh good Bob!” Lori thought, “ I know that shrill voice!
But what is that I hear? Concern? That doesn’t sound right…”
The young girl lifted her head from the desk and beheld
the awesome sight that was her history test and a strangely concerned teacher.
Finally realizing that she actually had a test to take in history and she only
had five minutes left, Lori started to sob.
“Oh my god! What am I going to do? I don’t know that
historical significance of the Magna Carta!” she wailed.
“It’ll be okay, Lori, you can come in later to make up
the test, I don’t mind.” Said the sympathetic teacher.
All of the sudden, the wailing stopped and an eerie
silence settled on the room. Lori smirked and pinched herself again. She awoke
to find herself sprawled across the MSTing HQ’s couch. Grace was similarly
sprawled in the recliner. Lori poked the sleeping girl and she sat up screaming
“When the hell did we ever talk about sheep?!”
“MINION LORI! HOW DID
YOU KNOW IT WAS A DREAM?!” demanded Bob, TAMLOD, aka Mr. Smith, TOOG.
“It was simple Bobby Boy, once I figured out that I was
in Ms. Bell’s history class and that she was actually concerned about me, I
knew you slipped up. Ms. Bell doesn’t care about me and there is no way in hell
she would let me take a makeup of the test. Do your research next time.” Said
Lori.
“JUST FOR THAT REMARK
MINION, I’LL GIVE YOU A NASTY ONE TODAY!!!! MWA HAHAHA!”
“I wonder how Bob was able to put that double layered
dream into our heads.” Muttered Lori as the evil laughter faded.
“Well, we were so tired from studying for that last
minute test that we were susceptible to the evil dream.” Explained Grace.
“That makes sense.” Said Lori as she put some popcorn
into the microwave. “So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
The two girls chatted excitedly about the vacation as
they walked toward the theater.
BOTH: We have fanfiction
sign!!!
DOORS
Door 1: It is a wall of
TV’s, each with a different channel, each covering the situation in
Florida. You feel a wave of nausea at
the political stalemate and walk off before your ears fall off.
Door 2: It is a curtain
hanging in a doorway. It looks innocent enough so you take a peek behind it.
You then see a scene of fighting pilgrims and Indians. You are frightened by
the pilgrims yelling something about heathens and leave when the beginnings of
a food fight start.
Door 3: From afar, it
appears to be a computer in front of a regular door. You squeal in delight and run to the computer to get in your much
needed surfing time. You happily sit down
until you realize it’s one of the crappiest computers you’ve ever used. Upon
closer inspection, you notice that this is the kind of computer you use at
school. You kick the stupid piece of junk for taking 3 whole minutes to read a
disk and move on.
Door 4: This one is
actually a door, but it is made of matches. You can’t seem to find a doorknob
so you move one, but not before grabbing a couple of matches.
Door 5: It is another
collage door. This time the door is
plastered with the schedule for finals. You curse the fates because your
lighter is at home on the nightstand. But then you utter a quick apology when
you realize that you have those matches from the last door. You make quick use
of them but can’t bring yourself to walk through the ash of something that has
anything even remotely related to finals so you move on.
Door 6: You’ve done it!
You’ve finally found an actual door! Wood, hinges, and a doorknob. Yes, it is
plain except that it is covered by a white piece of paper. You contemplate this for a while until you
see a box of crayons on the floor. You take a quick minute to do something
relaxing: drawing a picture of Bob and then a circle with a slash through it.
Feeling you’ve had your fun, you enter through the door.
Grace: Hey, you know
what I noticed, Bob didn’t really say much today. I wonder what’s up?
Lori: Hmm, we’ll find
out later. And I still can’t believe we have to sit through this crap again.
Brothers:Digimon Mini
Series 1
Lori: ::groans:: Oh
great, not the massive retarded crossover fic! Man this one sucks apples!
Grace: Yeah, the title
doesn’t even fit the story! I haven’t seen TK and Matt together once!
By PikaFlash Ash/???
Grace: TogepiFlash
Misty/???
Lori: Why are you asking
us? You’re the author.
Disclaimers:All
characters, cast, scenes, stuff and music belong to their respective
owners....
*Note:This happened
after my crossover fic where Tai and the others fought with the Pokemon
Team.......*
Lori: …and everybody died a horrible bloody death so there
really is no fic for you to read….
Grace: ….and then, realizing their fighting wouldn’t solve anything,
they sat down to a nice thanksgiving dinner…
Recalling the past
Grace: …is a difficult
task for a mental patient such as I.
if no one ever read my
earlier fic:
Lori: You can count on
that one, author-san…
Matt is 18 yrs old
now(The only person who's age we know cause it was his birthday)....
Grace: Well, in theory,
you could take the difference of the age between Matt and each of the others,
subtract it from the number—
Lori: ::smacks Grace on
the arm:: No math talk Grace! It’s holiday time. Thinking bad!
Grace: ::sweatdrops::
Izzy was killed by Ash
after an overload of his energy powers....
Lori:…exploded the
battery in the back of his neck…
Grace: So that’s how
they get them to be hyper like that!
TK has corrected Goku's
"Fighting Spirit Bomb" attack....
Lori: <as TK> No,
no, no, Goku. Here, you hold out your hands like this and say KAME HAME
HAAAAAA!
Grace: <As Goku>
Like this? Kame Hame Ha!
Lori: <TK> No!
With more feeling! You emotions give the “fighting spirit bomb” power!
Grace:<Goku>
::whining:: I just can’t do it! I give up!
Sora dissappeared as her
contract with Salior Mars is still in effect....
Both: ::look at each
other:: Nah….
Kari and Tai have learnt
that they are from a bloodline where they are evil and they can stop
time....
Grace: Man! Maybe we
should recruit them to stop time before each of Ms. Bell’s tests!
Lori: Or at least before
Bob sends us to MST a continuation of this fic….
under the name of
Kamiya....
Lori: …there was
Tokugawa… the third shogunate. Then, under Tokugawa, there were vassals, many
of them, each vying for feudal power in this –
Grace: ::punches Lori on
the arm without taking her eyes off the screen::
Lori: ::rubbing her
arm:: Itai….
Joe somehow has got a
broken arm after Pikachu's Hyper Beam attack....
Grace: …but the results
were inconclusive so they took a vote, but the count was too close, so the side
saying he got the break from the energy levels hitting his arm called for a
recount.
Lori: …but then the side
that said the break came from the invisible photon waves accused the first side
of cheating during the recount….
Grace: …so then the side
that didn’t really care about Joe, bombed the two other sides and the world
rejoiced….
Lori: Ladies and
gentlemen, the Presidential Parody 2000 Riff!
Mimi didn't know about
Izzy's death....yet....
Grace: …because the
author still hadn’t cleaned a path through the dots yet…
Lori: Wait a minute!
Isn’t this the second one? Didn’t Matt go tell Mimi in the last one?!
Both: Consistency
people!
The Digimons are still
in the real world....
Lori: …scaring the crap
out of the cast and crew in Seattle.
Part 2:Ambushed.......
Grace: ::gapes at the
line:: You mean ALL that stuff before wasn’t the story?!
Lori: Oh lord! This is
gonna be a long chapter.
Trunks was reporting to
Vegeta about what happened......
Lori: <as Trunks>
Like, oh my gawd! Then TK totally, like told that other girl to buzz off! It
was like so oh my gawd! Then he did like the totally sweetest thing!
Grace: <as Vegeta>
Like let me guess! He kissed Kari? No! Like that’s so totally sweet!
Vegeta:So....it seems
like pig headed Matt seems to have a soft spot for a little girl......
Grace: That’s so nasty!
Doesn’t that sound kinda… lecherous in a nasty way?
hmmm, that's what I
need....
Lori: What? Viagra? So
you can get yourself a young gir—
Grace: ::after inserting
a bar of soap in Lori’s mouth:: That was so wrong, Lori!
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Grace: ::glaring at the
gagged Lori:: Have you been making friends?
Matt was walking in the
rain again, as he was remembering the last time he was fighting,
Ash,
Storm,
Lori: ::with mouth open
so wide that the soap falls out, gaping:: Wha….
Grace: Ack! Horrible
flashback of X-men the movie MSTs!
Mewtwo and Evil
Tai......when he remembered TK.......and the proposal of the battle.....
Matt:Ok, TK, Tai, Kari,
Joe, I'm coming to help you fight Vegeta!!!!
Grace: I don’t see
anyone….
Lori: Maybe author-san
just forgot to include the part about their being there.
I've just found my
reason to live,
Grace: <as Matt>
::with hearts in his eyes:: CHOCOLATE!
Lori: <as Grace>
Hey! Get away from my reason to live!
Grace: ::seething:: How
dare you use me in a riff!
Lori: ::holds up a
victory sign before being bopped on the head:: Oroooorooooo….
and it's to stop Vegeta from continueing his
evil schemes!!!!!
Then some men started to
attack Matt......
Lori: Wow, they must be
in New York!
Grace: Hey, mayor
Gulliani has done a wonderful job in cleaning up the crime in the city…
Lori: ::sweatdrop::
Yeah….
Matt:It's Vegeta's
men!!!!
Grace: Vegeta’s a pimp?
Lori: ::giggles as she
pictures Vegeta in pimp wear::
Matt was having trouble
fighting them but luckily, they wern't strong enough to overpower
him......
Lori: Lori was having
trouble fighting the powerful urges to barf on the fic but luckily, they
weren’t strong enough to overpower her ::insert trail of dots here::
Then Vegeta comes
in......
Grace:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Lori: What? Grace!
What’s wrong?! Vegeta’s not in the theater! Don’t worry!
Grace: That’s not what I
was screaming about!
Lori: ::slightly
scared:: Then what were you screaming about?
Grace: ::with trembling
finger pointing at the screen:: The change in verb tense!
Lori:
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Vegeta:You've just met
my Force,
Lori: <as Luke
Skywalker> Yeah saiyan-shrimp? Meet MY FORCE!
Grace: <as Yoda>
Use the force Luke! Kick his scrawny ass!
whom I trained for 2 years
Grace: Hey, didn’t it
only take Luke a couple of weeks to learn to use the force?
Lori: Yeah, but doesn’t
the force have something to do with stuff in your blood?
.......attack
him!!!!!(Dissappears)
Matt:HA, that's
nothing.....Power....BUSTER!!!!(Punches the ground, creating an earthquake
that KOed all the
soliders........
Lori: HA, that’s nothing…
Block…BUSTER!!!! (throws blue video boxes at the soldiers which render them
unconscious)
Grace: HA, that’s
nothing… Dust… BUSTER!!!! (punches the ground, creating a huge cloud of dust
that suffocates the soldiers)
At Tai's place......
Lori: …in the basement,
there was a wild rave going on, when suddenly, everyone OD’d on drugs
(including author-san) and the fic ended!
TK:It's Matt!!!
Matt entered the
house.....
Grace: Woah, TK has ESP!
Lori: <as TK> I
see dead people….
Grace: That made about
as much sense as this fic.
Lori: ::glares:: Hey,
I’m kinda rusty, so sue me!
TK:What happened?
Matt:Ambushed by
Vegeta's Men, but they're nothing to me......
Lori: <as Vegeta’s
men> ::with tears in their eyes:: B-but Matt-sama! Please! Give us another
chance! Can’t you see we love you?
Grace: <as Matt>
Hn, I could care less, I’ve moved on.
Tai:It's time.....
TK:For what?
Matt:To have out revenge
on Vegeta......
TK:Right!!!
Grace: Oh, yeah, he
REALLY wants revenge on Vegeta…
Matt:Tai, Kari and Joe,
go get the Digimons.....
Lori: Hey, who died and
made Matt king?
Grace: Maybe the guy
that gave him the ::chokes:: “power buster” attack….
Tai:Right....
Grace: <as Tai>
…like I’m really going to listen to you! I’m the leader here! Not you!
--
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Lori: No wait Grace! The
solid line means we can’t pass from this side! Ack! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!
Grace: …
Lori: I see you’ve
picked up author-san’s affinity for the dots.
Grace: These bad fics
have suck abrupt endings! It’s annoying!
Lori: Hey just be glad
that author-san didn’t put any closing notes, if he had, we would’ve been here
all day!
Grace: Well, nothing
really happened in this episode, the plot just got worse!
Lori: Yeah, and the characters
get more and more confusing!
The two girls exited the
theater to await Bob’s ranting.
“SO MINIONS, HOW DID YOU
LIKE YOUR DIGIMON FIC?”
“You know, this one isn’t that bad. It’s just really
annoying, kinda like a dull ache in your side… or like you.” Quipped Lori.
“SO, GETTING OUT OF MY
CLASS HAS MADE YOU MORE INSOLENT. HMM, I’LL QUICKLY REMEDY THAT!
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Grace was going to chastise Lori but the doorbell
suddenly rang. Lori, knowing it was her
punishment from Bob, but more scared of Grace than Bob, ran to the door to
answer.
“Bring it on Mr. Smith.” Lori muttered as she opened the
door to reveal a rabid angry mob.
“Hell no, we won’t go! Don’t cook turkeys, just bake
dough!” yelled the mob in unison.
Lori and Grace sweatdropped at the
slogan of the group. The two MSTers
gathered from the signs that this was the infamous POTABOBA (the protection of
turkeys and baking of bread association) that all turkey farmers feared. They
leered dangerously at the girls, assessing the enemy closely. The head of the
protest stepped forward and addressed the shuddering girls.
“We received a tip that you are keeping stashes of frozen
turkey to eat on Thanksgiving. Hand them over immediately!” he bellowed.
Grace put on her most innocent smile and said sweetly,
“I’m sorry, that must have been a prank caller because all we have for
Thanksgiving this year is a tofu turkey.” She raised a pan of the turkey.
The turkey pro-lifers paled and they were gone in an
instant. Lori turned to Grace with stars in her eyes.
“Wow Grace! That was so cool! Did you see them run?
You’re so smart! But, uh, could you do me a favor and NEVER bring out that
cursed tofu turkey EVER again?”
Grace smiled and said, as she closed the door to MSTing
HQ, “Fine with me! Now where’s the real meat?”
E-mail me at earthianchinx@yahoo.com
I’d guess I’d be pretty hypocritical to not ask for flames.
But if you feel you must, then I’ll respect your choice. But first, let me tell
you the story of the Chinese Mafia...